Top 10 Reasons I'm Really an American Again
10. Drinking during the day is deviant.
9. I put ice in my soda.
8. I drink soda.
7. Two words: Netflix subscription.
6. Supersizing sometimes seems like a good idea.
5. Tipping 15 percent feels cheap.
4. I've been reading the same book for two months.
3. I think I pay a lot of taxes.
2. Working 50 hours a week is normal.
1. I own a Swiffer.